Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
