it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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