how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
