whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
