I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
