dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize