tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
