This house was built for laser tag.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
