I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
