Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
