the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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