It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
