I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
