17 year olds will be the death of me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
