I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
