even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
