butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
