Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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