How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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