what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry about my life...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
