Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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