I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
