More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just google imaged poop.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
