"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
