We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize