u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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