They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's the barista slut.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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