Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
