I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
