How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there's paper in my vomit.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
