This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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