:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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