All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
