Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
