ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
