if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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