Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
