So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
