I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If that was your dad, he is hot
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
