FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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