I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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