I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This house was built for laser tag.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
