You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
