we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
