At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
