Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
