The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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