I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
