Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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