i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize