i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
