And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
