I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
