Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
