She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
