How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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