We should be called the Road Head Warriors
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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