She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
