Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its not stalking. its research.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
